Random facts: Having kids in China

Random facts: Having kids in China

And another post for the “random facts” category: This one is about having kids in China. No, I’m not pregnant, but one of my co-workers is, and some other co-workers already have a child, so I get to hear a lot if interesting things I thought I’d share:

Getting pregnant

The one child policy doesn’t exist anymore. First, the rule was that you could have two kids if you were both an only-child, now everyone can have two kids. In Shanghai a lot of people still only want to have one, because housing and schools are very expensive.

If you are trying to get pregnant, the man should not drink any coke. I’m not sure why, maybe because it’s unhealthy, but it seems to be common knowledge.

Another thing that is common knowledge and every Chinese girl knows about, is that you are not supposed to drink or eat anything cold, while you are on your period. I’ve heard different things like it could make it take longer or more painful, so you just don’t do it. I thought this one was pretty funny, because I’ve never heard of it and also, isn’t ice cream always a good idea? 🙂

From what I’ve heard there seems to be a lot of pressure on people to have a child as soon as they are married. If you have a baby after 24 it is already considered a “late childbirth”. Good thing I’m not Chinese: 27, unmarried and no kids, what a failure ;).

During pregnancy

In China, you are not allowed to find out the sex of your baby. If you are an expat living in Shanghai it is possible to ask but it is illegal for the doctor to tell you if you are Chinese.

When you are pregnant, you are not supposed to eat spicy food. One of my coworkers told the story that her son had a rash when he was little and her mom said that it was her fault for eating too spicy during pregnancy.

What you should do is hang up a picture of a really cute baby in a place where you look often. It is supposed to make you feel happy and the happy vibes will be good for your baby. This is the picture my colleague got as a gift. In size A3.

In general, to me it seems like people make a much bigger fuss around pregnancy here than at home. People seem very concerned and worried about your well-being all the time. For example, my coworker told me that when she got to a restaurant, she was immediately given a blanket to shield her from the air conditioning and a pillow, so she would be more comfortable. When she was pumping up a gymnastics ball (the big ones to sit on) in the office 2 people ran to her help and later on she got asked a few times if it was safe for her to sit on it.

After birth

Once you have the baby, you are supposed to rest and cannot do anything for 30 days. You are not allowed to cook, clean, take care of the baby, or even shower. Basically you have to stay in bed and recover for a full month. Usually, either your parents or in-laws will take care of you and your baby. If they are not around, you hire a full-time Ayi to do that.

Last week, a colleague from another department gave me a box of cookies with the words: “My son is 30 days old.” I was confused, so another colleague explained: 30 days after giving birth, you have a big celebration marking the 30-day-birthday of the baby. You announce the birth to everyone you know – coworkers, friends, family, neighbors … – by giving them a present, usually food. For this occasion you can buy the already wrapped gifts as it is a very mature industry.

On the right it says: “Celebration” and “Our family has a new son.” On the left: “Here comes the baby crying with a sweet smell. Luck will come to the family with good virtue. Celebrating for our new child. Please accept this humble present.” Thanks Pearl for translating!

Maternity leave starts 2 weeks before birth and then you have 16 weeks off after the birth. If you are having twins or have to have a c-section, you get an extra 2 weeks. Right now, it’s not possible to work part-time (at least in our company, I’m not sure about others), so after 4 months women come back to work full-time. The retirement age in China is 55 for women (60 for men), so often your mom or mother-in-law will take care of your baby during the day.

2 Replies to “Random facts: Having kids in China”

  1. Men shouldn’t drink coke because coke kills the sperm.
    Women should drink everything warm and hot because traditional Chinese medicine believes it is healthy for them. Why? The correct kind of water is warm water, closer to body temperature. This is more even to the body fluid and therefore requires less effort for the organ to deal with the heat and energy.

    I hope I explained it..

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